Look Ma...

I like Science the way most people like movies (I also like movies). I don't know very much about Science, I can't name too many Proper Nouns beyond the big stars, but it is undeniably cool. I didn't think the Gwacheon Science Museum could get any cooler, what with their amazing Tesla Coil, but then I saw this exhibit pictured above.

Holy Cow! I grew up playing video games so seeing this was like John Bonham coming back to life to reunite Led Zeppelin JUST SO THEY COULD PLAY MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!

In case you're not shocked and awed, let me strap a caption to that picture:

KOREAN BOY PLAYS VIDEO GAMES WITH HIS FRICKIN' MIND!

Next time I'm back there I'm gonna strap myself into the matrix and give it a shot. I asked a bright students about it and he was totally unimpressed.

"Oh yes teacher, I have done that. It is little hard," explained Joon. I pressed him, "How does it work?" "You think for car to drive right and left and car drives." Sounds simple.

What about those... you know, funny thoughts that sometimes pop into your head? Do I have to stay focused, lest my car is suddenly being driven by Michael Douglas and Ayn Rand on their way to a wine tasting engagement at Ikea? This matter requires intensive trials.

Almost Food

There are parts of Seoul where foreign food is really hip. You'll pass a dozen restaurants offering Brazilian, Mexican, Indian, Thai, and lots of American food. Many of these places will advertise their chefs' authenticity. ALL CHEFS FROM BRAZIL! I wonder if there are chef recruiting agencies, just like the way many of my English teaching peers found their jobs here.

Sometimes these places have a twist, like "American Candian Food" (steak and maple syrup?) or Tibetan-Indian Cuisine (that place is actually awesome). So far, the best I've walked past is Fat Panda. Notice the similarity to an American chain? American Style Chinese Food. Is this like listening to Jamaican Style Balkan Dubstep? Is this like wearing a Kalgoorlie Styled Norwegian Fishing Hat? I also like how the Panda is Fat. This intrinsically links the dining experience to something wholly American. I'm gonna eat there.

Homestyle Comfort Food

This weekend I ended up with a lot of leftover raw tuna. Let me step back a few...

A bunch of friends and co-workers threw a Thanksgiving party and I decided that my contribution would be an amuse bouche tray of artery clogging Bacon-Tuna Melts. From a guy with a genetic and medical predisposition toward, well, things that make eating a Bacon-Tuna Melt a bit irresponsible. I've been making these babies for awhile, but I decided to pull out the stops and kick the canned tuna to the curb. It was time to get raw.

I bought sashimi grade tuna, Cham-Chi they call it. It wasn't especially pricey and I figured out why when I got it home. It was boney. I'm no sushi chef, in fact I can barely cut onions. It was a pain in the ass to get pieces worth eating. The finished product turned out really well, though.

Bacon Tuna Melt:

Combine Raw Tuna, Bacon, and Bacon Fat in blender. Blend.

Mix the mix with Mayonnaise, White Pepper, and Lemon Juice.

Serve on Small Pieces of Toast with melted Sharp Aged Cheddar.

Garnish with Thinly Sliced Onion and Capers.

Woah, I'm going rosasia just thinking about it.

So here I am, left with a bunch of raw tuna, still on the bone, what a bitch. I decided to make a fish stock. I boiled the tuna down with lots of salt, pepper, onions, and bokchoy.

Now I've got this badass stock.

Tuna Noodle Soup:

Boil Vietnamese Pho Style Noodles.

Simmer Bokchoy and Green Onions in Badass Tuna Stock.

Drain Noodles and add to the soup.

Add a Can of Light Tuna.

Garnish with Bean Sprouts, Hot Sauce, and Lemon Juice.



Oh damn that's good. I like this soup, I hope you like it too. I'm eating some right now.

Unite

I saw this great piece in Itaewon today. Reminds me of the Chinese propaganda from the museum in Shanghai I haven't been to.

Relativity Cab

When you get in a taxi in Korea, the guy hits the button and the ticker starts counting. It'll keep counting whenever you're stopped, at a red light for example, or while a McDonald's motor-scooter delivery guy peels himself off the pavement. The thing is, when the taxi is in motion the ticker speeds up. This is science. It costs money to be in a cab, regardless of its action, but the faster it goes, the more you'll be paying.

This is a lot like Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Something about time and speed and The Space and basically if you've been in a Korean taxi, all this should be self-evident. You see, Einstein said that being in a Korean taxi is like having a beautiful woman hold your hand against a lit burner on the stove. Despite contextual critiques regarding Einstein's abnormal tolerance for pain and masochistic taste in women, I think he's right. About Korean cabs.

Emergency Photo Shoot

The other day I saw an ambulance pull over to the side of the street with its flashing lights on. The lights turned off and two paramedics (or whatever they call those folks in Korea) got out. It was nearing sunset on another of these beautiful, warm November days we've been having. The air was unusually clear and the light was awesome. The paramedics took turns posing with the local mountain behind them and took pictures of each other.

Telling It Like It Is

This morning we were chatting in my kindergarten class and an adorable little girl raises her hand and says, "Teacher, I can see your bald spot."

I resisted the immediate urge to put my hand to my head and asked her, "Really?"

She says, "Yes, it is right here," and points the spot out on her own head.

One students asks another what "bald spot" means. They receive an answer in whispered Korean and everyone starts giggling. The little girl gets up out of her seat, removes a small mirror from her backpack, and hands it to me. "You should see it."