I get the Ball Rolling

Last weekend I went to a truly special museum. Housed in the basement of the War Memorial Museum is Rolling Ball. When my buddy and I went to buy tickets, the lady at the counter looked at us quizzically. "It's a kids' museum..." We knew.

Rolling Ball is a collection of Rube Goldberg type kinetic contraptions all of which involve marbles and spheres larger navigating a series of twists and turns. Track switches, jumps, secret turn-arounds, loops of the loop... It's amazing! These are the kind of pieces of Art I hope to one day collect. Most of those we liked were credited to Swiss-German named Deidre. Make what assumptions you will.

A good two hours there made for one of the most fun times I've had out in Seoul. And no poker was involved!

On another topic, today I prepared three 4th grade Korean guys for a future in drunken Karaoke glory. Frequent readers will recall I use song analysis as a way to explore literary device. Last week we listened to U2's Sunday Bloody Sunday. Today they wanted to hear it again. I obliged and was treated to the three dude singing along. When they inevitably go to the states to study abroad, they will find themselves in a karaoke bar and the seed that I have planted will burst fourth into magnificent tree of attention-getting. Also, it was just damn cool to see Korean kids diggin' on good music.

This weekend I am finally going into Itaewon, the part of Seoul where a tall awkward American-shaped man can apparently find clothes that fit. A winter coat is my goal. Wish me luck.

Down with the Sickness: A Cold Halloween Weekend

Today all my children are wearing Swine Flu proof face masks. These come from the same school of engineering that brought us the Nuclear Bomb proof school desks in the '50s.

Speaking of masks, last Friday was the school Halloween party. I was completely overwhelmed by the cuteness. There were a huge number of princesses with fairy and elemental variations. Amongst the boys Power Rangers and Harry Potters reigned supreme. In the costume contest the winning Pre-Schooler was dressed in a huge tiger costume and carried a golf club. Can anyone guess? I have a feeling his family helped him with that one, but he might just be incredibly clever.

Later that night I went out to an early Halloween party for grown-ups (it was the 30th). Myself and the other English teachers were the only people in costumes. I think it might have been an early Halloween party of our own invention. Standing out on the street I was approached by a group of three middle aged Korean men. They were patent attorneys for LG telecom and complimented my costume. I was dressed as Agent Smith from The Matrix. They told me that I was more handsome than Agent Smith in the film and that I was also more handsome than Keanu Reeves. I'm not sure why they had to drag poor Keanu into the discussion, but I felt flattered nonetheless.

Also, while out that night, I spoke French with a Korean woman. She spoke about as much French as she did English and I speak way more French than Korean, so our conversation, while charming, would have probably given a professional subtitler an anxiety attack.

The weather has gotten cold which makes for more runny noses than ever before. This only increases fear of the Dread H1N1. We are being asked to wear masks ourselves while in class. This causes my glasses to fog up as I breathe. This is like teaching English to a dish washer that just finished its cycle. If I catch the Swine Flu, for real, y'all will be the first to know.

A Taste of Kindergarten

Today I have for you a selection of writing samples from my kindergartners replete with my comments.

Regarding Abraham Lincoln:

"Then he proved that salvery was wrong. Many people agreed. So the long time of Slavery led down the curtain."

I love when kids attempt turns of phrase. Not perfectly executed, but ambitious. This kid closes their story about reading a book about Lincoln with this gem:

"I have to read books and study and block the war when it happens."

That is intense! I wonder if the mom is like Sarah Connor.

One student began a fairy tale with:

"Once upon a time, when tigers smoked..."

This has a terrific cadence for oral storytelling. Also, given that the only tigers left on the Korean peninsula are probably hiding in the DMZ, the thought that they once lazed around smoking really puts it back in the day.

One child recounts what was hopefully a dream:

"After I ride the roller coaster my mom get a strong steel broomstick......AND PUNCH WITH HER ALL ALL POWER!!"

Several kids have been riffing lately about how their moms chase after them with broomsticks. This example is special because, like the earlier sample, the writer is forming sentences in ways they've probably heard in giant robot movies.

Finally, in an illustration, a kid draws a surprised character uttering this tidbit, which may suggest God's mighty radius or possibly kitchen appliances:

"Oh my gosh range!"

Theatre Arts Class Is Dangerous

My theatre class has now met twice. I have a group of typically smart Korean students ranging from eight to ten years of age. I think we have the potential to do some amazing work together, if we don't all get killed in the process.

Why, you might ask, is teaching kids acting skills dangerous? Is it the lethality of accent from the Korean-British kid? Is it the hazardous chirping of one student's pet crickets? Is is the poisonous miasma of recently turned on heater air? No, although the kid with the Korean-British accent is dangerously awesome to listen to. What is going to get us all killed is Dire Straits.

A challenge in teaching acting to kids is getting them comfortable taking risks in front of their peers. It's intimidating to speak in front of a group, let alone emote. We did a movement exercise intended to help the students break from their (and find new) comfort zones. I played different sorts of music and we explored the space, responding to the tracks.

To Beck's "Devil's Haircut" we sauntered around throwing cool-guy looks at one another.

To The White Stripes' "Icky Thump" they took turns marching toward me with anger.

To Bjork's "It's Oh So Quiet" we played with physical dynamics, going from a sober waltz to a leaping blitzkrieg.

Then I played Dire Straits' "Walk of Life". We were walking in a big circle, taking turns being the leader and leading the feeling of the walk. I don't know if it's the cheesy synth line or the "do-see-do" hayride feeling of the melody but the kids went ballistic. They responded more violently to "Walk of Life" than to "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin, which is like saying that Gene Autry could better raze a village than Eric the Red. Gene Autry with a neon headband! And yet...

No one was seriously hurt, but I was definitely prompted to give a lecture on maintaining control. Especially since our next lesson is gonna be on stage combat! (cue malicious laughter)

Also, everything I wrote in this post is true.

A Day In The City: Verbing Nouns

Seoul is a really really big city. Last weekend I went journeying toward two specific sites: A gigantic tech mall and what is supposedly one of the swankiest saunas around. Luckily both these places are within a Pocari can's throw of the same subway stop, Yansong.

Exiting the station itself was an ordeal, as the tracks spit you right out onto the first floor of a gigantic shopping complex. The tech mall itself was six floors of every imaginable brand name and product under the sun. One entire floor was dedicated to music instruments and recording equipment. I spent half an hour fiddling with an MPC 5000 trying to simultaneously play all the parts to "Under Pressure" with my two pointer fingers.

From the top floor I could see a lit-up courtyard where a break-dance competition was probably taking place. I say probably because, as usual, I have no idea what is going on at least half the time. I could have been watching a modern treatment of Westside Story or possibly some kind of religious ceremony. For all I know, these young men could have been telling jokes in pantomime to hip-hop music. Actually, I think that will serve as my standing definition for all dancing.

Next to the mall is Dragon Hill Spa which lived up to its reputation for being awesome. Of all the cool stuff there however, the coolest was the name of the place itself. Sure, there was a Himalayan Pink Rock Salt Kiln, an Ocher Chamber of the Training of the Mind, and a supervillain-esque Ice Palace, and all sorts of other rooms of relaxation. However Dragon Hill's name out on its sign is spelled using "Konglish". This is a wonderfully curious method of using Korea's hangul lettering system to phonetically spell English words. So Dragon Hill was "DRA GON HI RU". It's like using finger paints to describe the scent of cinnamon. This is how I'm gonna learn the Korean alphabet, by sounding out the extra value meals at "MAK DON ER UDS".

A Korean First Grader Says Something Profound And Disturbing

In a reading and writing class we were discussing the lessons and morals that some stories attempt to teach us. We'd just finished the story of a dinosaur who, too big for the cave, is kicked out by his caveman family, only to later rescue them from an erupting volcano. We concluded that the lesson was that even a troublesome friend can help. This led into a nice discussion about the nature of friendship and getting past the bad in order to appreciate the good. I asked the students, could they think of a story with a troublesome friend who in the end helps us? I prompted them again, can we think of a character who is difficult to get along with but is still our friend?

This is when a kid raises his hand and says "God".

Good News and Funny Things

Today it was made official official. My school will be adding a Theatre Arts class that I wrote to the curriculum. Myself and another teacher will be working with a group of ten first through third graders each on a number of awesome units. Voice and diction for the actor, movement on stage, scenes, characters, improv, and more. All leading up to a Showcase for the parents which is sure to be a blast. I am very excited.

Here are a few dialogues from students which I'd like to share...

Kindergartner: At my grandma's house over the weekend I was telling them about my story and then when my mouth was open my dad put a yucky blucky food in it so I went to the toilet and wacked it up. I wacked it all up but there was a poop in the toilet already! So I wacked it all over the poop and then there was poop and wack in the toilet.

Then there's this amazing pause while I think about how this kid must have heard the slang "yak it up" in a movie or something and gotten it confused. And then...

Another kindergartner: Whenever I fly in an airplane, I always wack it.


Another memorable moment came when a kindergartner boy was talking about a girl in the class...

Kindergartner: When she tells someone, who is a boy, that she doesn't like them, she breaks hearts.

Man, this kid has got it figured out. A line like that is beautiful and universal in its simplicity. These young Korean kids are brilliant and hilarious. I can't wait to start teaching them improv comedy...