Day 1

This afternoon a giant pile of sand appeared in front of my hotel. But I'm skipping ahead.

Yesterday evening I arrived in Anyang-si, a city of about 600,000 a half hour south of Seoul. I have moved to Korea to teach English at a private school, called a "hagwon" where kids cram outside of their regular studies. For the next year I will be an expat, reinforcing the myth of the ugly American and trying to order anything at McDonalds that isn't made with dog.

I'll be staying in an apartment provided by the school, but until those accommodations are ready, I'm in a love motel called Bobos. Here in South Korea, most young people live with their families until they marry, so there are dozens of inexpensive hotels for couples to enjoy a night together. My room has a huge red dome light above the bed.

Last night after dropping off my things and showering off the twelve hour plane flight, I went out with a few of my employers and coworkers. We were in a bar district called, to the best of my phonetics, bum-gay, where I got my first glimpse of Korean nightlife. Women wear high heels and high skirts and giggle constantly. Men hold each other up and sing. It's quite bromantic. Watching a trio of dudes with arms around each others' shoulders maneuver through a crowd from one bar to the next reminded me of playing with a Ouiji board ("I'm not moving it!" "You must be moving it!" "Well, it can't be moving itself!").

We ended up at a brand new bar which in its three weeks of being open has become the spot for foreigners to throw up on Koreans. I met two Irish guys (who told me I was James Bond) and a South Afrikaner who looked like a Nazi version of me. So to the Irish guys he probably looked like Daniel Craig. In the bathroom a Korean apologized to me for his friend, who was vomiting in the toilet. I practiced my Korean on him. All I know are "hello", "sorry", and "thank you", but these were all appropriate.

I woke up this morning in a strange country with a familiar hangover. Went for a solid walk around town trying to find the apartment I'd be moving into (unsuccessful) and the school I'd be teaching at (further un-success). I ate lunch at Lotte Mart, a sort of big box store with a cafeteria. I'm quickly realizing that Koreans love to overserve. I guess if you finish everything in your meal, then they perceive that they didn't make enough for you. My crab and egg and sprout soup came with kimchi, oily nuts, and a couple patties of white gelatinous sponge. Stuff yourself for four and a half bucks.

This afternoon I decided to hike the big mountain near my hotel. It is a humbling experience to be passed by the elderly as you lean against a tree gasping for breath. I'm gonna blame it on the humidity. It is hell of humid here. And the old folks are really fit. At the top of the mountain I got to get a sense for the city and its surroundings. Beautiful green hills all around; the city was built in a valley of sorts. It could have been dear old Portland Oregon if not for the cookie cutter apartment complexes and neon signs encouraging me to drink soju.

When I got back to my hotel, the giant pile of sand had appeared. Two kids were drawing on it and a policeman was standing nearby talking to a guy and gesturing at the pile with his grape drink. My comprehension's not so good, but I got the gist of the conversation. Somebody is in trouble about that sand. My goal for this evening is to successfully order another meal (and not accidentally upgrade my cell phone plan- it's hard to tell what kind of establishment you're entering from the street). There is a bar on my block with a bunch of Korean written on it and one big graffiti style English phrase: "WHY U NOT DRINK". I don' know if this is a question or if the bar inside is an example. I intend to find out.